Tuesday night

"...But you might stumble upon yourself one day."

"I am more than the sum of my parts."

thick
my words are slowed
in still air on waves of heat
building and pressing

............................
it never does stop
I need to push it all back
fill my head with music
noise, static, wind
so I can get past
go forward
always
open

flow
I have not missed
what I have given away
pieces of myself
though sometimes at night
I find there is nothing left
and dream of deep springs

found words

I watched a sunset yesterday
that I am hard-pressed to put to words.
the horizon was large and deep
smoky blue clouds
from a rainstorm far out in the desert
a dark blue curtain of rain
and on one side
peering from behind
a radiant
burning
molten
hot piercing
orange red sun
the whole sky
above
behind
across the wide horizon in front of me
was saturated in shades of blues and greys
except for the disc of the sun
as if a door was opened
letting you catch a glimpse
a radiance almost too much to accept
I don't belong there
but I do remember...

evening storm

crest
I watched the storm rise
pouring over the mountains
a wave of deep sky

herald
out of the desert
like a forgotten prophet
green wakes from the rain

during a break...

ears
slow down, stop, listen
take the sounds where they lead you
worlds behind closed eyes

simmer

imagined
in the heat of the day
your words become cool breezes
caressing my skin

span
a white sun stretches
effervescent radiance
rising to meet it

.............................

more cooking, so to speak
words, thoughts
clamoring to get out
so I just keep adding....
.................................

caught
turning it slowly
I hold a thought in my hand
a prism of words

it's just late

restraint
they came close today
these thoughts of you, into words
beneath my fingers

saturday glimpse

visceral
I am sorry...but
I can see into your heart
within the deep walls

friday late afternoon

sitting outside in the shade when it's 103
words try to reach the surface
my thoughts thick as tar

rem
sleeping in the sun
the desert dreams of the stars
and cold deep places

friday afternoon

preserver
save me from myself
I am sinking fast to grey
throw me a colour

jot

flamenco
my eyes are dancing
to the happiness inside
no explanation

mid-day

reaction
like a skipping stone
my thoughts touch lightly on you
and my eyes smile

mixed bag

from Nantucket...
flash
fireflies wander
aimlessly from leaf to leaf
searching for summer

outside today (NOT Nantucket!)...
well-done
rocks baked by the sun
into white-hot bits of light
walking on the sky

just because...
shell
you have left me now
like a warm tide retreating
spirals on the beach

a return

I've been away. A needed recharge.
One for now. More to come.
Monsoons have started here in the desert.
Beautiful. Dramatic. Roiling.
blues greys yellows silvers greens...
so much depth to the sky
a crucible
the horizon
sharpened between sky and land


impending
I walk with the wind
swiftly to the storms black door
thundering answer

late/early

unfetter
why am I awake?
to see the stars crazy light
falling from above

saturday evening view

abandon
There, the small blue clouds?
They dance on the horizon,
twirling with the sun!

company
turning and diving
the bats join me on my walk
welcoming laughter

on the subject of need

puzzle
the purpose of need
what is not found in ourselves
filling the spaces

friday...indeed

verge
as I drift away
to leave the earth with the day
breaking barriers

thursday theme

enfold
how can I describe
the gentleness of this day
it embraces me

create
time stops as I walk
the mountains take a deep breath
and exhale the night

.................................

It has been especially gentle in the desert lately.
quiet, peaceful, calm, expectant
Do we affect the world around us
by our own inner state?

wednesday/wonderfulday

loosed
I watch the pale light
gently wash the evening air
as I drift in thought

becoming
in closing my eyes
my boundaries disappear
I am that cool breeze

life scent
a small wondrous thing
came to me in the desert
the smell of damp earth

sunday

quest
I have swallowed fear
it left me hungry for life
honey on my lips

saturday

permanence
stretching and yawning
I slowly wake up and see
what never left me

uncontainable
where does it come from
this laughter that fills my heart
spilling from my eyes

...................................

the tide has turned...

a long walk

this evening
I walked in gold light
and breathed in the horizon
leaving doubt behind


growth spurt
as I pull my shreds
of dignity around me
I become taller
and slowly I look
into the eyes of the sun
returning the smile

as always

no jury
know this patient friend
I view myself more harshly
than you will ever

............................

ok, enough of that s*it
time to
move
on
ahead
forward
come with me
and see
our eyes bright
as the mid-day sun

saturday PM

Cheshire grin
soft sky, blue velvet
that I rub my thoughts against
purring like a cat

.............................

everyone has
their own
point of view

saturday morning notes

pedal
lost in a quick glance
smiles are a slippery slope
time to use the brakes

tome
intimate and slow
my hands caress the pages
and I close the book

greeting
my ears have been closed
to the soft voice of water
whispers of living

exploring the dark

welcome
I take my darkness
and hold it tight in my arms
welding it to skin
.................................
physical pain
it fills every corner, not to ignored
then night slowly becomes
a screaming black hole
and you find yourself
endlessly falling
slowly spiraling
into darkness
of your own
private
hell
...............................
taste
swallow my darkness
and taste the smoke from my soul
a slow crimson fire
.................................

I am just exploring words, and my own psyche
everyone has a darkness
and a light
I want to look at both

not a haiku

the pain has left
but...for the moment
so have the words

late

deserted
awake, pain, again
the night stretched out before me
desolate darkness

sunday view

lens
I am stepping out
beyond your uncertain light
into my prism

Friday evening

vinyl
my thoughts have been stuck
like a needle in a groove
time to change the song

.........................................

never assume
...ask

sunday

daughter
"a cloud just kissed me."
as rain fell on her warm cheek
her face to the sky

saturday_am

enter
the morning quiet
pours in through my open door
blue sky fills the room

consequences

I found I had an unexpected short break today,
as a result...

oblivious
waiting on the time
seems like an odd thing to do
as it ignores me

converge
lines in perspective
falling to the horizon
a meditation

stop
a stolen moment
quietly found in my day
reminds me to breathe

this and...

stroke
a clear water sky
rests on a deep horizon
going for a swim

hobby
to put it simply
I do not collect people
to hang from my life

like silver mirrors
reflecting away from me
I would lose myself

monday

witness
peace has filled my heart
look through my windows and see
horizons unfold

transformation
each step slows thought, while
the sun smooths my sharp edges
I become endless

sunday—late

sleep
I am the clear light
that pours down from a full moon
and finds you dreaming

sunday

always
looking back on loss
does not diminish the pain
but welds it to us

changing who we are
it makes us that much stronger
we are life distilled

saturday

late
I feel the full moon
it stirs me up with the night
until I am lost
.........................

I was lost
down my own twisted paths
until you found me
woke me, lured me
and I realized
only I
knew the way out

friday

sunspots
yes, I can feel it
painful, yet sweet—wide open
my eyes to the sun

rooted
to feel such fierce joy
so intense, I am stilled
lost in ecstasy
......................

yes, it is possible to feel such intensity
but it is not always ready to share
growing, expanding, opening
for me the deeper it stirs
the more still I become
to absorb every detail
brought to focus
yes, I am fine
I am only
evolving
into
me

to be seen

second language
if words do not come
then whisper me with your eyes
yes, that was beauty

very miscellaneous

patience
it stood still, waiting
in soft indigo shadows
my answer, my night

stare
my door is open
take a look, nothing to hide
bright shifting colours

..........................

[time for a random word string
since I cannot seem to capture
them in the right order tonight]

...........................

sunlit smiles
weaving words
from laughing lips
then left in the shadows
for another day

strength in honesty

trees bloom
raining clear blood
honey in the air
it fills my mouth
and pours down my neck
words warm as syrup
silent as dreaming
filling the space
between us

1am

tune
the moon is so bright
it fills the air with music
deep white ringing notes

..............................................

I can't resist stepping out into night
nothing is quite the same
a world seen on edge
its layers showing
clear moonlight
and shadows
absorb
me

friday

hush
be quiet as snow
then cover me with laughter
clear crystals of you

...................................

I smile at all around me
and listen to what it has to say
slowly crawling
out of myself
I wander
into a clear
blue day

wednesday

softly
read between the lines
and hear the gentle words
found behind my eyes

resolve
I am done falling
down the same smile lined well
walking on water

word flow

I cannot put into words tonight
too much threatens to drown me
I do not want this rip-tide of feelings

the words are not meant for this page
but rather poured and sipped
from a small slow smile
and wide open eyes

monday

new relevance
quiet, hush, be still
the storm has passed, we remain
calmly side-by-side

...................................

calm found down a hard path
quiet found in a decision made
stillness found in a different view

hush now, and you can hear my heart
its deep and wild tune

sunday night

outlet
to be so wound up
coiled tighter than a spring
I cannot maintain

no end
the wind in the trees
softly telling me a story
whispers to my heart

siren
out in the twilight
I have recaptured myself
with soft sounds and light
........................

it always helps
a walk in the twilight
you think I would
know that
by now

reluctant traveler
it seems that leaving
is the start of a journey
self preservation

slow
I grow under you
smiles feed my open heart
pulling shut the doors

knife
teetering on edge
I catch a glimpse of promise
and fall onto you

afternoon break

calm
as I take a breath
blue light fills every corner
lost inside my sky

...........................

it is hard to find that calm inside
when chaos stirs around you
with one slow deep breath
eyes close and time stops
and the world melts away
to the beat of my heart

to not move

pool
reflections scatter
on ripples of water glass
earth dancing with sky

still
sunday afternoon
a special kind of quiet
hushed expectancy

still thinking....

soft landing
anxiously, I run
then, tripping over myself
I land in your eyes

..............................

because, ultimately
we decide our own happiness
we create our own reality
our decisions/ourselves
reflect in everyone
and in everything
that is around us
the right path
not always
the easy
one

one more...

deplete
sucked out drop by drop
so slow I am not aware
my warm blood, my life

......................................

right now
I feel life, live it
it spills into the air around me
people seem to be drawn
iron filings to a magnet
until I am covered
my eyes blinded
with blood rust
crimson tears
sweeping
them all
away

............................

too soon, too new
this excess to share?
maybe, but also
too much to
contain

special delivery

one from very early this morning—
the silence was complete
I stepped out into the night
the air cool, the stars crisp
I looked up, visiting for a bit
I heard a sound...where
there had been none
turned, looked up
a shooting star
just for me

2:20AM
a silence wakes me
with weight heavy on my bed
the air filled with dreams

wed 04.15.09

than meets the eye...
taken by the wind
sailing past the horizon
I have become more

flow
crowding around me
the words fly against my cheeks
to pour down like tears

a trip

cave
cool damp living rock
embracing our soft bodies
bones clear as glass

caverns
inky thick darkness
draws me through the open door
nothing left but thought

......................................

I went to the caves today
a place I love to go
to have the rock surround you
the feel and smell of the earth
damp ancient stone
the quiet heavy weight
solid warm pressure
covering my skin
filling my senses

sunday 04.12.09

aloe
shot of bright coral
dances gently in the sun
a hummingbird's cup

evolution
I am and am not
that person that you have known
not meant to stand still

saturday— midnight

waltz
with slow graceful steps
the moon dances with grey clouds
flirting and laughing

i am
talking with the moon
I learn that I am open
filling up the night

fount
from my deep within
I feel the desire pour
spilling down to you

spin
slowly, this long dance
of mutual found wonder
ends without an end

rain
I wake to the sound
of darkness on my windows
night dripping from trees

constant
time stops in silence
it holds your head with soft hands
shutting out the world
.....................................

in the large silence of an empty house
thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes
fly unencumbered
they fill the air
swirling about
like spirits, phantoms
crowding around me

with Herculean effort
I open a door to the night
setting them free
rushing, soaring
rising, leaving
to become stars
deep within
my lover's eyes

planned chaos

random thoughts and glimpses...

unremarkable
clearest memories
distilled from a single day
commonplace glory

wading
I stand deep in words
as they pour from long fingers
sloshing at my feet

braille
stripped down to smooth bones
they gleam in the pale twilight
etched with my life

04.05.09

unhooked
from cool shadow depths
I rise to meet your lure
smiling as I pass

04.04.09

finite
endlessly, I wait
only to find I am there
waiting for myself

04.03.09 eve

relief
Friday evening
the wind pushing the week past
the view becomes clear

release

contentment
yes, I hear it too
a deep sigh in the twilight
as the day recedes

a couple

3am
I am still awake
trapped in twisted veils of dark
a quiet hostage

beneath
under my closed eyes
I am naked to the night
dreams brushed on my skin

from saturday night.....

night stroll
walking to the stars
I step out into the night
and greet each by name

chilling
outside, in their world
I watch people run their race
and an ice cold beer

stream
under a night sky
contemplating life's currents
I go with the flow

saturday

as they come today
one on top of another...


emerge
standing on the edge
I fall into your dark pools
and come out renewed

stretch
quietly waking
the day blinks in the sunlight
night closes her eyes

early
blue washes the air
white sunlight fills the morning
the day is rising

chaos revised

search
stirred by the wind
my passion swept into words
landing at your door

....................................

[my words are oftentimes just that
or vehicles in which attempt to define/describe
despite what might be inferred]

........................................

it is difficult to map the process of change/growth
the words and thoughts can be slippery
hard to focus on, hard to hold
sometimes it works
other times, well you get the picture
I have a feeling this weekend will have
more than a few attempts
there is too much stirring about
chaos needing a voice

a small look

there was a changing wind today....

swept up
I twist, rise and fly
on the back of a cold wind
fierce wild smile

more visits to the dark

blink
watching the night grow
rising from the horizon
deep indigo eyes

..........................

barriers dissolve in the night
like lovers talking in the dark
one ends where the other begins
words float free
and find their way quicker
thoughts are pulled
from deep wells
to be shared
as cool wine sipped
with a sprinkling of stars
that dance over the tongue
straight to the heart

Tuesday evening

fathomless
layers on layers
people adding depth to life
I am magnified

out my door

cover
cold air on my skin
as night wraps around me
a blanket of stars

sat 03.21.09 PM

I went out into the desert this evening
with each step
my heart slows
my breath deepens
I still the mind
and let the horizon
wash over me
blue waves
tipped with rose gold light
I am pulled out into the ocean of night

.........................

recognition
deep in your smile
and the corners of you eyes
a familiar place

revealed
shutting out the noise
you search for your own music
and find the deep chords



(none needed.....iiwii - it is what it is)

sat 03.21.09 AM

from yesterday evening......

instant
I took a breath and
there, poured from under grey clouds
a gentle gold light

..................................

in the past I had always turned to colour
paints, pastels, pencil
to try to define how I see the world around me
now I am trying the same with words
whether it's working or not
I find it very satisfying

a minor chord

caress
my shadow dances
a lovers dance with sunlight
long, gliding, glances

I watched the shadows
racing over the desert today
to amazing music
which magnified my sight
and cleared my vision
removing me to one of those
close-by, parallel universes
that existing in plain sight
at the edge of our daily lives
it just takes a small twist of the dial
to change the view in front of us
and see what has always been there

03.15.09 PM

suspended
the day draws a breath
as the sun slides towards night
I am filled with now

an evening walk
moving through twilight colours
time is suspended in this light

03.15.09 AM

petroglyphs
pulled into my shell
I read the walls of my life
new pictures emerge

03.14.09

vision
I watched a stone
grow lazily in the sun
rising above me
.............................
reaching and gathering
plugging up holes
rebuilding my stores
redefining my...self, if you will
this can't be rushed
nor is it a straight line
the twists and turns
clearly visible on this page
obviously so
yes

lunch break

underside
in the desert sun
a pale pink shell glows softly
water memories

captive
surreal, the desert
held to the earth by the sun
it tolerates us

wed 03.11.09

slow burn
twirling in colour
I dance in a comets tail
brighter than sunlight

...so...

now what?
holding tightly on
I have the world by the tail
wondering...what's next?

sunday eve

ready
I am quiet, still
as a stone in the desert
waiting for the rain

(That one speaks volumes for me.
Are we responsible for our own rain?
The length of the wait written by our own needs and wants?
Or is it the waiting itself that is the destination.)

burst
orange gold blossoms
of the sun, grace the branches
of a mesquite tree

sat 03.07.09

the space inside is larger than what I see out
people swirl around me
I am untouched
unmoved today
I am in my own world
hidden behind an open door
in full flashing colour
invisible
while they look around them
wondering why they feel incomplete
while looking through closed eyes
......................................................

track
swirling around me
others lives, I am removed
riding the cold wind

solid
who are these people?
I have never felt part of
their world is not mine

rise
hot sun on my back
opens my spine to the sky
searing hot release

...................................

things are not as gloomy as they sound
I was out for a few hours today
thrown in with a large group of people
I am always fascinated
by how we/people interact with each other
our separate views of the same world
I love the differences and discrepancies
and occasional synchronicity
the unexpected connections
that you feel to your very core
as you find lost parts
of yourself

...summary

monday 03.02.09
today I am free
light as a cloud at sunrise
buoyed with knowledge

wednesday 03.04.09
the smell of citrus
like warm oil in the air
intoxicating

thursday 03.05.09
flashing large and full
a molten red sun trembles
setting on my skin

orbits
spinning, circling
moons around a blue planet
a balance of need

all these words I write, the distilled essence of who I am
a map laid in these haiku
and there are more waiting to get out the door
thoughts, feelings, perceptions.....words
all standing in a not-so-orderly-line
sometimes pushing and shoving
trying to be the first out into the world
now that the door has been opened
it has forgotten how to close
letting out the inside
I expand to fill the outside
where does one start, one end?

rambling a bit this evening

more????

song
the stars are brilliant
with their wild white voices
I hear my true name

rend
mountains slice the sky
the way your smile—my will
opened too deeply

not easily closed

...and the point is?

metamorphosis
in my hand I held
my long, slow, felt, desires
drifting up like smoke

mirrors
looking for myself
in eyes of those around me
I find your dark gaze

needed
sunlight fills my mind
casting cool sharp edged shadows
to rest my thoughts in
.......................

still always trying to explain/describe/define
only making sense to myself I'm sure
but I'm enjoying the challenge

attempt

abode
I felt the darkness
tonight it followed me home
clinging to my heart

small shadows
small bits of darkness
they are always there
we walk into them, and out again
like sunlight through leaves
in an ancient sleeping forest

light and darkness pour over my skin
and drip from my fingers
untamed pools of life
form at my feet

I drink
.................

To feel too much

All the time watching, listening, waiting.
For what? I don't really know.
It pulls me forward around the corner of every day
and sails me through the night.
Why this feeling of freedom at night?
As if the glass is thinner,
and the horizon has come to rest in my heart.

.......................

a small drama going to work one day.....

meal
above the traffic
a hawk dives to its first meal
separate worlds

......................

(Much is stirring about tonight.)

...and then...

rubber
I stretch to the stars
galaxies spin in my hair
comets in my smile

a mind break

tunnel
through my eyes, escape
as thoughts follow the silence
voices swarm like bees

waterfall
contrails drawn on blue
taking my eyes to the edge
as I spill over

drive
racing the white lines
the dark road pulls me forward
salvation in speed

sunday evening

direct
I cannot hold back
my colours shine like lasers
piercing your unknowns

Sunday evening often turns into a time of
- sorting - for me
shaking things through the sieve
getting rid of the chaff
hoping what is left is real
like water seeping down
through rocks
grains of sand
becoming
clean
clear
truth

saturday

stretch
warm sunlight enters
the waiting winter windows
colour slowly wakes

carnival
up or down? in/out?
I make my way down your paths
slow crazy circles

recognition

tempest
twisting and storming
a cauldron of molten thought
fierce white blinding joy

flood
holding still your eyes
the river inside surges
crystal clear intent

windows/glances
to what is inside of me
new to me too
I just sat down
and let the words come
no preset or goal
it feels odd, but honest
to write this way
I had no idea what was waiting
there they are
it is what it is

uncovered

two very different ones tonight
my mind is in too many places at once
making it hard to focus on even three lines at a time
but, maybe, it is the best time to write
when I don't even know myself
what will emerge

dome
so very quiet
and still, this evening light
encased in gold glass

molten
from earth through my soles
I feel the pull of raw life
skin flows with fire

stirrings

sighs
I miss the night sky
cold clear and deep, it calls me
through an open door

it's always there,
on the other side of myself
waiting with stilled breath
and silver white eyes
slivers of moon on
deep indigo
flashes of scarlet
violet
it is the night
that other side
necessary and needed
to balance the bright
frenzied light
of living

homecoming
I found you waiting
down my winding spiral paths
my center, your home

center

galaxy, I
I am many worlds
spinning crazily through space
each with a purpose

just one

whole
from farthest corners
stars gather, each with a name
foundations of life

after hours

2:00 am, fine time to write a haiku...
sometimes I need the soul vibrating therapy of loud music
you feel it from the inside
vibrating from your center
into the chaos around you
you are removed
isolated in sound
an island of perception
in a sea of electronic joy

numb
music surrounds me
the sound pounds me to my core
my bones vibrating

escape

This one would not let me sleep until
it worked its way to the surface
and was released.

endless
dark tonight, your eyes
submerged beneath a deep night
stars flash in their depths

desert hike

spring
white sunlight flashes
as water sings through smooth stones
clear as awareness

open
windows of sunlight
share glimpses of perfection
light in pure colour

from a hike today that searched for and ended with—water
as all good desert hikes tend to
water is not taken for granted here
it is a destination
something to savor
and wonder at
it sharpens the edge of the landscape
and the sound rings through the air
a gift