on....

overflow
anxious and waiting
I watch the light leave the sky
fill my open heart

eyes met

in vain
I knock at closed doors
looking for pieces I've lost
silence greets my ears

reality has a hard gaze to meet,
the face familiar, the look hard and sweet
yet we choose to be blind
looking deep into dark eyes
we see our own reflections
and look no farther


(I am feeling fractured tonight
losing myself
the pieces will join together again
I am not meant to be so scattered about)

1am - adrift

why is it so easy to lose ourselves in the middle of the night?

...we are greater than the expectations
of who we are thought to be...

do we continue on our path, without explanations, without reasons
without apologies?

do we ever truly see the people around us?
or is our sight coloured with our
needs
wants
desires

eve

connection
I had lost myself
down roads of obligation
and found, in silence

I am one that needs quiet
a bit of silence
to hear the sky change colours
the light find the edge of a cloud
or to hear the song of my being
I need that stillness of soul
to feel the currents of my thoughts
and go where they lead
the people I feel most comfortable with
are the ones that can be there with me

silent night
starry night
in between
dark and light

[try and figure that one out...they come, as they come]

maelstrom

tide
the power inside
found buried beneath restraint
rises in my eyes

the wait
elusive and still
my words hide in quiet places
as I find my way

scattered impressions
a waiting time
while thoughts/words
mix and move
beneath the surface
I am not able to...
even now
so close, yet
out of reach
they dance
in and out of shadow
and brush against my face

and so I write....

Again
ignoring the signs
still I went down an old path
the end seen sooner

though not quite the same
the scenery has changed

and I have grown wings

laughing to myself (after the kicking)
Why do we choose to take the same, broken, path sometimes?
running in circles
each revolution
etching deeper
into our psyche
all for learning
ours
theirs
hopefully finding us in a slightly different
better
place than before
reaching, stretching, grasping
emotions as thin, curling wisps of pearly light
running through my fingers
others
absorbed

hope
a powerful reason

essentials

dreaming
As I push words back,
gently I keep them waiting
until I awake

cannot make the time I would like to right now
it's all there coalescing in the background
the necessary chaos that precedes and accompanies - change

found

These are two bits I wrote January or February of this year.
I remember the day when the Desert Haiku came to me very clearly.
I was standing at a point in my life with two paths before me.
Outside, feet on the path - head in the sky - clear view all around.
I knew which way to turn.
It is good to remember that....

Desert Haiku
dry stone in the sun
thoughts flying up with the wind
soaring like a hawk

(just impressions....)

I walk
sunlight as water
I run
flowing into the sky
I soar
released

to dark

my veneer is thin lately

gathering
pulled into pieces
like roots burrowed into rock
I am too many

life-line
slowly falling back
into the arms of darkness
face up to the sun

amalgam

something a little different tonight....
9 Lives
"half your life"
words whispered to me from the grey as I walk my path
"half your life"
carnival voice pulling laughter from the air
"half your life"
from the phone, dropped into my ear
Yes, maybe so,
but only until
now.
Not stopping, ever forward,
quick as the sun rising in the desert.
If I have had two halves of a life already-
which life am I on now?
Full and rising moon
over deep blue mountains.
I am above, and going higher
lives stretched out before me
glowing blue white
on a glittering dark road
through the horizon
to the other side
and back to me
Why should cats have all the fun?

tears
in the wake of change
foam flecked waves wash over me
salt dries on my skin

safety net
wherever I go
tendrils of warm light follow
from my heart, to yours

sometimes I have no choice but
to try and get the words out
whether they make sense
or not

all the above....

I hadn't gotten out (out=outside) really in a few days, for one reason or another. It was grey today, unusual really. I was doing something I'm sure I thought was extremely important,
when I glanced out the window...
I was out the door and gone in seconds flat.
The sun was flashing a deep gold from beneath the clouds.
gilding every edge with light
on the near mountains
the shadows, sharp as cobalt glass
the horizon, purple velvet
and below the glowing, twisting clouds
the sky - so clear,
the blue endless
and colourless
all at once
colours. light. shapes.
there is so much–
this is a sky of hope
contradictions
passion
wonder
this is life

words - so inadequate

the healing
walking in twilight
I glimpsed that land beyond
and let myself go

rest

slightly
again at midnight
fueled by red wine and sake
I walk to the moon

a half moon smiles
on its bed of opal silk
a black velvet tapestry
within a white gold ring

—I never know what I might see
walking at midnight

overflowing

flip
outside, in shadows
colours pool in dark valleys
inside, white starlight

bridge
walking in two worlds
we will fill the space with words
silence draws deeply

missing my twilight walks
they stir something in me
only accessible
at the edge
between day and night
the air feels lighter
the restraints loosened
the mind and heart soars
while the light withdraws

then, darkness
and there is nothing left
no body
just
thought
silence
self
filling the space
to the stars

pm

crucible
I dream by the fire
eyes in the flame mesmerize
wanting to crawl in

spiraling

I have been trying not to let myself
get too lost in what/how I see
my thoughts
views/visions
as I've said
always having to look
around the next bend
in - as well as out
so easy to be seduced by this journey
I have been on it as long as I can remember
it has just become more intense lately
an expedition
a voyage
through a shimmering green sea
or the deep clear water of twilight

Visit
as I walk, I fly
to the tips of the mountains
on the edge of day

one breath, I am there
standing on the rose gold peaks
I swallow the sky

...

whispers
speak softly my love
that you may hear the stones sing
and the desert breathe

thoughts from limbo

dawn
coming out of grey
I feel the sharp scent of air
the sun warms my cheeks

focusing on the other threads of life
trying to weave all them together

a comment made
I will not let.......
it is their reality
not mine

and then,
I am past it

vision clears
colours sharpen

going out into the desert
wakened from the rain
I am walking
into the sky
with open
eyes

notes

dna
open desert sky
cannot match the space inside
evolving chaos

by starlight
walking at midnight
I melt into the shadows
looking for answers

spice

it rained this evening
I did not recognize the sound
I had forgotten
it was a brief desert rain
leaving the air spiced
in a sky so large
the clouds could not cover it
and sunlight spilled around the edges
leaving colours
compressed
saturated

rain
mountains meet the clouds
the essence of life released
falling from the sky

plein air
using words as paint
creating texture with dreams
luminous colour

"...skating away,
on the thin ice of a new day..."
Ian Anderson

from out

knife
pain out of nowhere
cuts through me, unexpected
the edge of a scent

snare
slowly I turn back
towards the retreat of the sun
captured, I follow

clean
the pain returns
I am helpless in the wave
rolling over me

all moments
observed/captured/recorded
embers/sparks/infernos
facets/faces/windows
crimson violet silk
dark velvet indigo
washes of azure
entwined with
permeating
rich white
endless
light

reverse

How is it possible
to welcome my
isolation
yet
at times
be so completely
overwhelmed by it?

recall

a swim
pools of still water,
sunlight, the color of tea
drowning in your eyes

What is the purpose of these words?
The words, the image,
the recognition,
float to the surface
of consciousness
from some deep subterranean current.
I can only record what is revealed.
Parts of myself.
amazed

I will question
explore
discover
even attempt to explain
but I will not make excuses for
or try to justify
my words
or thoughts

it is what it is
I am who I am
sobeit

coiled

on my walk...
out in that golden time once more
my thoughts swimming in the air
a million miles away
walking that winding path
with the warm light
around trees and mountains
following it to that dreamed of place
my hand on the gate
Shangri La

In passing, a greeting
a person I know
(rarely happens)
words and ideas tossed back and forth
filling the air between us
we part, going our separate ways
each taking away their own tangle of thoughts

Quietly
I try to return to that gate
but the path is lost
in the darkening sky
and the labyrinth inside

seen
that land of honey
where golden light fills the air
pouring down my skin

ancient

sometimes to find a certain calm
I imagine myself
slipping into the earth
down through layers of dirt, rock,
to find myself
surrounded
completely
a constant pressure
on every part of me
condensed to the essential
carbon into diamond

[diamond : Ancient Greek - "invincible", "untamed"]

(funny thing is, I've never cared for diamonds....
preferring colour)

shapes

Express Lane
Is this search futile?
but I am left to wonder
rushing through my day

(It is not futile, I know.
But it is easy to lose sight
when you're pushed and pulled
constantly forward
throughout the day,
ready or not,
stop.)

connection
I know the kind of place that draws me
and I would never tire of—
a place I don't think I've been to yet
this life
but I have impressions, ideas,
suggestions, hints,
in places I have visited
never fully realized
I have lived in this place before
I remember
the ocean, a large sky, a place with shapes,
colour, light, a sense of age about it,
people as part of and one with the landscape -
but not the whole landscape
a place to get lost in

I cannot share any more of this right now.

resonance
I am the lone star
that pierces the twilight sky
with a wild fierce light

while I sing to you
with vibrating radiance
the notes long and low


(Where did this all come from tonight—
I have no idea.)

when I look...

eyes open
insight, sharp and clear
not able to escape it
I am overcome

peace
I have cut adrift
dreaming in my freedom, on
cold ocean currents

scattered sleep

waiting
a colourless sky
just before the sunrises
slow blush of lemon

nap
in a dark hallway
a patch of sun on the floor
curled up like a cat

Scattered today
the list of music I listened to before noon
would make the head spin
my focus is fractured
temporary
I need to save the late nights for the weekends....

I have never poured out so much,
let the door open so wide.......

gone

I felt the need to walk on a beach today.
A long march that would take me beyond
the farthest point my eyes could see.
It could be a warm day—nice,
but a steel grey, cold, windy day
has it's own attraction.
The wind isolates you in your own world,
closing you off.
You become lost in it,
and a part of it.
Cold rain on your skin,
waves crashing in your chest
wind rushing from your eyes.
Leaving nothing
but you,
your thoughts
and a constant flood on your senses.

When you do return—
through spoken word,
an open door,
it is like jumping into a pool of warm water.
The world is silent
and you are removed.
A part left outside with the wind.

this search for words to define...
as if one combination,
one arrangement
of words
will be a key
or
the sword
that cuts the Gordian knot
setting me free


island
standing in a storm
I am removed from the world
waves break on my shore

(from my walk...)
grey
brushed across the sky
like dancing shadows of flame
the clouds change quickly

harvest

runaway
the words come to me
without my pen and paper
and I cannot stop

warp
I feel I am always
chasing the receding light
suspended in time

stroll
a javelina
wandering across the road
delicate as glass

thin
though I raced the sun
the twilight was long tonight
the day stretched thin

These are from my evening walk.
They start soon after I walk out the door.
There feels an urgency to this,
not to let these impressions slip away.
As if I would lose a part of who I am.
Is that what I am doing—
Gathering up pieces of myself?

dirt trails & contrails

Trails
walk meditation
each step connects me to the earth
taking my heart home

Yet, at the same time
I can get lost in the sky
and I know it well

not crazy...distracted

Squeeze
No, I cannot think
voices swirl around my head
thought and words dissolve


"Get thee out!"
(The mountains call.)

waltz
first star of the night
it floats in the faded sky
dancing with a bat

meandering

the gate is unfastened
and I am out wandering
with purpose
wide open
a constant state of looking
through the eyes of my soul

a look
the light on the wall
pools on the pavement below
the shores in shadow

frayed colour

Another year
and what a year.
Amazing.

Finding my feet on a new path,
I follow -
hints of promise
traces of dreams
and late at night
softly in my ear
whispers
twined with colour

Just because...
one
anonymity
sometimes a desired state
merged into the I

spark of....

I have so many questions.
Everyday
I look outside myself
and wonder,
question.
I learned early on
that I have to find these things for myself.
I would wear people out.
The answers are there
I just need
to be
still
quiet
open
there
and recognize them when I pass.

birth day
forty-six years ago
I chose to enter this world
returning to learn

expansive
I am deep inside,
within myself, on a ledge
looking out to sea

party of one

Today I took the long way home.
To the desert
along a trail, among the rocks,
the saguaros towering above me.
Behind - the sun set,
leaving me to walk
and write
in air filled with quiet gold.

found
needing solace, I
chased the sun to the desert
absolution found

distraction
two large jackrabbits
zigzagging across my path
scattering my thoughts

by touch
soon too dark to write
the colours fade around me
bleeding into night

the sharing
waiting for the moon
the night building around me
one but not alone

sleep
the night sounds are soft
quieting the land from day
whispered lullaby

On a different note:
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Forty-six years in this life.
And I feel I'm just reaching my stride.
Towards the horizon.

abiding
a familiar place
found on this way many times
you are there waiting

glance
over my shoulder
I see the river of years
stepping from the shore

all I can do
raw pain of a friend
asking why with open eyes
helpless...I listen

vast
where does it come from
this depth of feeling I found
in a strangers face

larger on the inside...

After getting out in the desert yesterday
it was nearly impossible to work in my cube today.
The feeling has stayed with me
awakening the wanderlust.
The need to go out
go forward
go past
go on
go in.
You' re never really sure
what you will find
what will be uncovered.
I am drawn beyond
always forward.
Yesterdays doubts
falling behind me
as I sail past.

Home
On the edge of now
I look to the horizon
I am going home

wandering
too attuned with night
the full moon runs through my veins
I am lost in it

to be out

Out again,
this time in the desert.
Walking towards the mountains
my back to the city.
The trail winds around rocks
rust red sand, white quartz, sun bleached gold.
They all take on the glow of the setting sun.

That time of day again,
that takes your breath
and your words
away every time.
Every detail of the canyon I face
chiseled out of light.
The orange gold light
becomes a presence,
that awes you,
humbles you,
and is you
all at once.
The air, mountains, trees, cactus
to this light
resound.

(this trying to put into words -
a work in progress)

under
white pearl of a moon
glowing above the desert
my path becomes clear

prisms
Looking out from in,
through brittle glass made of doubt
shattered, pieces shine

opaque

It has been windy here
(and dry, they measure the rain here
in hundredths of an inch & that counts as rainfall).
There is much dust in the air.
This morning driving in to work.
The sun is a sharp, white disk on the horizon.
Almost as dim as a moon.
It tries to rise, pushing at the thick air.
It is odd to be out when it is like this.
The mountains disappear.
you lose your guides,
and feel suspended in a murky cloud.
As if overnight I have been transported somewhere else.

(I still have not figured out this need to describe/define
what I see through my eyes, my mind.
I will let it take me where I need to go.)

juicy
laughing, I look up
at a moon in a blue sky
ripe fruit on a branch

007

I walk with a pad and paper now.
Until I get this out of my system.
Madly writing as I walk - fits and starts.
The neighbors probably think I am spying on them.
Writing them up
for some minor infraction
of neighborhood law.
Either that - or I'm going to walk into a cactus.
Or a mailbox.

hawk
she rises and soars
wingtips pointed to the sun
dancing with the wind

wind
leaves dance around me
as I walk in swirling air
the stones dream of space

parallel
chased by a white wind
I run through clouds of amber
glowing like the sun

backwards
rough, cobbled pavement
reminding me of childhood
stopping my new skates

(I had said, no guarantees.)

winds

Yes. I am stirred by these autumn winds.
Clearing away the peaceful veil of the day,
raw wild eyes are revealed.

view

The -looking-
the -seeing-
never stops.
Creating the world around me.
Expanding the world within me.

listen
out beyond the walls
the landscape speaks to my eyes
whispers beneath colour

glass(es) of red

Too much wine, (or just the right amount?).
A plethora of spirits?
Meeting a kindred soul.

red
on wine fueled wings
conversation goes higher
down one trail of thought

Foggy indeed.
Synagogues
sailing
sex
sushi
salvation
I should not be posting.
Goodnight

And they keep flowing...
Where are they coming from?

Patience
one expectant breath
as sunlight unfolds the new day
I wait in wonder

no walls
walking a new path
defining myself with words
without boundaries

November light
once again I watch,
sunlight sharpens every edge
magnified in gold

not met
I float on sunlight,
weightless with approach of night
suspended in you

trying to avoid...

I watch the play of light and shadow
and the day is gone...

unstoppable

The sky is an amazingly clear, brilliant blue this morning.
Anything seen against a sky like this is art.
A study in colour and shape.

clear blue
fresh inspiration
in a sky sharp as spring water
birds swimming in air

I will try and control myself/my words this weekend.
No guarantees.
I am effervescent (love that word and its sound)
full, overflowing,
with thoughts,
promise
abstracts
colour
words.
I can't keep up.
Maybe I need to let it all simmer for awhile.

a small thought

The more I write these things down -
the more I see, the more I hear.
You participate in conversations, go about your daily life....
but you are at the same time removed, watching.
As if you are living in multiple dimensions/universes,
and are aware of them all.
This is not unpleasant, but rather, inspiring.

Along a similar train of thought.
The sense/feeling of space/air/volume.
(I may be tackling too much here for my descriptive abilities.)
Between point A & point B,
I can see/feel/am aware of, the space itself.
Not just the quality of the air,
or even light (which can define it)
more than what your eyes see.
You can feel it if you choose.
It starts deep inside of you moving outward.
Infinitely joining you with everything.
I have felt this sense of space/place since I was very small.
Which why I am attempting (inadequately) to describe it here.

2 more for today....
Cobalt
Between warm sunlight
the shadows are deep in thought
While stones sing deeply

Sake
At night, city lights
shine through voices and laughter
The mountains are still

Fluent
under a thin moon
that shines in a liquid sky
a gate is opened

talking

Sensing my removed state of mind today.
A friend emailed me, asking what was going on.
I started to type back an answer, instantly, in haiku.
I gave her permission to whack me upside the head
if I start to talking haiku.

removed
alone in my thoughts
I am speechless with words
looking for answers

surround
testing the water
I slip beneath deep green waves
to be submerged


I feel I could sit here and write page after page,
and it would still not be as clear or true (to myself)
as these short poems.

just a thought

5:15 AM
Out with my coffee this morning looking at my patch of stars.
Thought went through my head
"...people add dimension and depth to our lives..."
At that moment, just above me,
a long, gleaming, shooting star.

If only all our thoughts were accompanied
with such visible affirmation!

We affect, and are affected by, everything around us.
(Trite but true.)

focus
no, not holding back
I turn to face old, pale, fears
we meet, eye to eye

away...

How do you go about taking a vacation from yourself?
Not an extended one, just a short holiday - day trip perhaps.
Gain a different perspective.

"Searching my heart for its true sorrow,
This is thing I find to be:
That I am weary of words and people,
Sick of the city, wanting the sea."
Edna St. Vincent Millay

the hunt
I move from myself,
swiftly approaching a dream
quiet as a cat

submerged
deep inside I run
trying to escape the noise
beneath, a calm sea

more random pieces

relic
Opening my door
holding the morning paper
the world made smaller

Though I can't remember when we had rain last.
I can still remember the smell....

washed
air thick with light, and
a clean smell of creosote
rain in the desert

november light

At sunset,
there is an edge to the air this evening.
A cool breeze reminding me of the ocean.
In the desert?
Clouds at the horizon, dark Cerulean blue, violet, pale crimson....
yet my eye is drawn to the sky above them.
A strip of blue washed over with a translucent green.
(That color I have no name for.)
It glows just above the clouds, fleeting.

A small snake crosses in front of me.
Pale sinuous color of sand
No, I am too big for your dinner small one.
Cross quickly.

Going home,
one last look.
The sun, passed below,
sends out streams of light
pouring up into the sky.
Glorious.

at random

sketches/stills/paintings
of places, moments, impressions, perceptions...

hike
following a path
I find peace in the mountains
welcoming the chill

rocks
I move through sunlight
climbing on russet red rocks
the desert watches

ruby throat
sitting on a branch
a hummingbird watches me
colour in waiting

fusion
wishing for a cloud
I stand under the white sun
fused to the sky

Election Day today...this posted for a friend.

polls
as I wait in line
for the chance to make my mark
changing the future

an intriguing place.....

Once more trying to put into words the desert.

Here I am,
out,
again.
The day leaving around me.

(Always wondering,
what is
around the next
bend
thought.)

I move quietly, quickly
with each step
rising.

I fill the sky

The light fades,
lingering,
and colour sharpens.

small deaths
in each moment
resurrected
with
a
breath

found

Isn't science wonderful.

Hubble Survey Finds Missing Matter, Probes Intergalactic Web
NASA 05.20.08

“....Missing Matter....”
I never thought to check the Intergalactic Web......

wake-up to words

Up late night, mind already spinning.
Makes me wonder what goes on while I'm sleeping.

2 AM
thoughts spin through dark
leaving me searching for words
colliding in air

A morning ritual, looking up at the last of the night....

visitor
a shooting star shines
sailing across the horizon
right up to my door

I feel a gift has been given me,
each I look up and see a shooting star.
And I do see one, almost every time.
A wealth of starlight.

words as company

I have no idea where this one came from
other than it's late, on a Sunday night.
Once again, inspired only by words.

the dig
In deep, still places
where you go, I will follow
unearthing the light

(I said I would share, never said they were any good.)

Dark Matter - revealed

"My God, it's full of stars!"
Arthur C. Clarke
That quote floats around in the back of my head.
It comes to mind when I get caught-up in my daily life
and do not take the time to dive beneath the surface.
When I look out, up, to the stars, galaxies, "dark matter".
I am looking in.
It is one and the same.
So, when I do remember-
to open my eyes, to reconnect...
I am breathless,
in wonder,
with questions.
"My God, it's full of stars!"
Yes.

illuminated
first star, set in blue
like a wayward spark, an idea
revealed in twilight

coalescing

Out walking.....again

chorus
At dusk, mountains sing
reading the edge of the sky
defining the day

Thoughts coalescing today, not yet ready to put down.
An ongoing process, that I'm actually enjoying.
people
connections
synapses
light
sound
sometimes like trying to focus through a spinning kaleidoscope

scrambling
looking for a pen
there at the side of the road
haiku comes quickly

tricks
On All Hallows Eve
laughter floats on eerie wings
keeping out the night

Home
have you ever seen
the light that shines from my eyes
lighting your way home


This is for no-one in particular.
Someday some poor soul will get these dumped on him.
Hopefully they won't be too heavy....

sublimity

morning
facing Orion
I join the approaching day
darkness ends, sublime

Sunrises are beautiful, but
it has always been the sunsets
the twilight lands
that seem familiar to me.

a defining light

I was frustrated with words, ideas and people today. I think I need to slow down, wrestle one idea at a time.

maybe just a walk....

I went out for a walk. I have always loved this time of day, this time of year. It alters me deeply. The light on the mountains, in the air. The slow mix of colour from above, to horizon.
A sliver of moon, just at the edge, floating,
the light from the day passed shining through it.
It stirs feelings inside I cannot define, this autumn light. It is both painful and sweet, sorrow mixed with a quiet joy.
My words still cannot define it
Yet.

curve
standing on the edge
balanced on the curve of night
falling into blue

I have also been thinking about my daily brushes with infinity.
(This stirred up from a thread of conversation.)
But, infinity is not for tonight.
Unless it will help make this pile of paperwork go away.

tangled in voices

the pale
I need to look out
beyond the pale,
quiescent
where the light
is clear

How do you keep your vision,
perspective,
self
when it seems so
different,
removed
from your day-to-day life?
The mind gets
tangled,
twisted
around unimportant
things.
What seems clear
outside
away
becomes
shrouded
in
uncertainty.
Voices,
drowning out
understanding.

missed
laughing at myself...
defining the view with words
I miss the purpose!

to listen

edge
quietly I look
there, at the edge of myself
a universe waits

fade
I stop, breathe, listen
slowing to the fading day
leaving with the light

through my mind, through the day

bits and pieces of my day,
my brain is tired

Gets the imagination going...
"Proposed NASA Mission Could Explore Twisted Space
Around Black Holes"
06.30.08
An interesting image....
"...twisted space..."

Heard in passing..
"...thwarted by reality..."
"...humans must breathe to live."

Music today:
Philip Glass "the Hours" .
Peter Gabriel "Passion"
Tom Rickman from the video "Venice Lamp"
Philip Glass "Violin Concerto" (Mvt. 2 in particular)

one for today....
The Bend
Trying to see past
A bend in the road clearly
You are already there

after

miles
Tired, as if I
walked a thousand miles.
Who knew words could take so?

into the aether

Ok. (This wordiness will not be the norm.)
I am going to contradict myself. Allowable.
If I was writing just for myself it would not be on a blog, would it?
But tucked away somewhere, hidden.
To write only secretly and alone.
Instead I struggle, ponder, question, dream, uncover - out here.
Hiding in plain sight.
I suppose it is from the hope that a connection will be made,
a nod of understanding.
"Yes, exactly.
I feel the same...
I see the same...."
Do we feel less isolated on our paths, and in our visions by this?
Is it necessary for the journey?
I have never minded being alone in my thoughts, with my views.
Life is rich with places, inside and out, to explore.
(Who could ever truly see me? I suppose everyone feels that way.)

I do not believe in coincidence. Landscapes, situations...people,
are put along our path for a reason.
For our benefit, or theirs, sometimes mutual.

Is there a haiku in all this? Probably more than one.
But one is all I have tonight.
I am tired.
Enough.

Path
my path is twilight
a winding through the aether
lit by many souls

stumbling over the sky

There is a feeling I am trying to convey.
That expanding, rising, fullness,
electric fierce joy,
while I face the sky.
The land at the edge
the place that exists
just there
waiting
A part of me already there
the rest trying to join/meld
always
Threads of indigo light
connecting the pieces
leaving me whole

Rising
Trying to see,
I am still
yet
effervescent
Rising
to meet
you.

(That started out as a haiku, but felt too confined in the framework of just 3 lines.)

I think that it will take many efforts to try and describe this feeling.
As I stumble over the words.....

wildlife

I am finding a blog to be an interesting creature.
persistent
elusive
(another paradox?)

Trying to be understood.

No.

To understand.

"I have stretched...
golden chains
from star to star,
and I dance,"
Arthur Rimbaud

stopped in my tracks

inside view
I turned the page,
there, a painting of me...How?
In colour and light.

answers

skin
stepping into night
air like water on my skin
i talk to the stars

(and they answer)

tangled in words

I have always enjoyed the unexpected pairing of words.
Few words, joined in a new way.
Understanding, clarity, meaning.
(It is the way I perceive it anyway.)
When written/read - a meditation
on each syllable, each word.
(A mapping, yes, I like that way of looking at it.)
The more words I use,
the muddier the meaning becomes,
like watercolours.
A tangled web of suggestions

sundown
with a breath - exhaled
the light fades so quietly
lasting forever

still not work....

Keyboards & Barber
Sharp fingers tapping
Burrowing into my skull
Craving sounds of space

(Adagio for Strings, Op.11)

not work

"A roomful of professional sailors is a disconcerting thing to see.
Nobody looks at anybody else.
Everybody is scanning the horizon."
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

To sail,
out on the ocean,
no land in sight.
Swallowed by the sky.
Someday.

in a cube

It is difficult to sit in a cubicle this morning.
I want to be
out.....

in a cube
Grey walls surround
The light of day but forgotten
Sanity lost quietly


(but not completely)

6 AM-little sleep

Journey
around the next bend
looking for dreamed of places
living the journey

in overdrive to balance

Evidently my mind is in overdrive today.
Until I find a new medium or sense of balance.
I write.
This actually started months ago (2008 has been quite a year). I continually tortured someone with my writing. I showed mercy and relieved him (and his mail box) of my ramblings.
As I will here too—eventually.

Someone recently got me thinking on how to describe where I am, the desert.
The sense and feeling of place.
The air and light here are hard to define.
Clear, full, large.
During a hot day the air takes on a silver sheen, glazing your vision.
In the evenings there is a (very) short time when the light turns gold.
It tips the leaves and mountains in glowing liquid light.
The air hums with color.

Glow
gently and softly
quiet light touches every edge
as the music swells

I will revisit this some other time.

Out

When I go outside, walking, moving.
I always wonder what's beyond the next bend, hill, mountain, tree....
Searching for - what?
Shangri-La?
New views?
Answers?
Myself?
I don't know, but it's always there.
I cannot remember not feeling this.
I am not the one that will say "turn back, time to go".
There is always the possibility that I will keep going, (at least I feel that way).
Is that what I am doing right now, but going inside rather than out?

point
I am going out
walking to a far-off point
never turning back

And that is it for today. Time to get back to life.

thinking too much....again

Too old for change? Never.
It is the growing pains that are more deeply felt.
Necessary pain? Pain and growth, is one always with the other?
Do you feel more, intensely, as you you get older (that word!)?
Or as some, get complacent.
I am not finding that to be the case, complacency.

(in just now....)
horizon
opening myself
the horizon goes through me
letting the world in

More I recently dug-up....
Moon
the night a curtain
behind, the moon glows deeply
as full as a glance

Lizard
running by my feet
important places to go
a striped lizard

Inspired? redux

Out with a friend.
Liquid inspiration...

Rioja
swirling in my glass
conversation and laughter
deep becomes deeper?

From the bone yard.

For a friend....
vibrating darkness
twisted with a vicious light
bones of who you are

cobwebs
tumbling breezes
wrap around the twisting leaves
clearing my cobwebs

Back to reality.
I am preoccupied with defining mine of late. This is one path to try.

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”John Muir

and another...

Two in one day
My mind's spinning.
I still find it hard to believe that I am writing a blog (I don't even care for the word.).
I have never shared things I write, opens the door too much.
I told a friend, "Now I can torture the masses."
Maybe not too far off the mark.

2AM
I woke, the weight of the night heavy on me.
I need to be out, open to the stars, no ceiling, no limits.
To match the space inside of me.

Burning
bright, sharp, brilliant
to me the stars are not cold,
searing deep my soul

stuck

I have this word stuck in my head....

Crimson
rolling crimson sun
burning a hole in the sky
i am falling through

Serious weight

The words and thoughts constantly flow, a constant current behind my eyes. I think in writing these down there's the risk of taking myself too seriously. Too much weight for so few words. Maybe that is what appeals?

clearly
thoughts drift slowly up
words as clear as desert water
opening the sky

"...They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places...."
Robert Frost

As they come.....

Sharp
Blue sky, sharp as knives,
Honing the sun on my skin
Burning through the words

no-one
deep within your eyes
dancing shadows of laughter
reflections of me

Autumn
Autumn breezes stir
swirling thoughts cool to a boil
change comes invited

From the stockpile...

Spirals
From darkest places
The wind spirals up to night
Light - my eyes are stars

Stone
A stone smooth and dry
Warm in my hand it searches
Sinking into me

catching up

Well, I'll be adding haiku that I've written over the last months and new ones as they come. Today I'll add some from the beginning of the year.

Electronic Breakdown
In thinning darkness
Servers crying out in pain
No-one listening

In a Meeting
Voice like a wall
word by word surrounding me
the door is inside

Within
I am spreading light
eternal velvet night
Going within

Drowning
The sunlight blinds,
looking in a cool dark well
drowning in your eyes

Time to start

I am starting this blog to get some of my haiku written down, and out of my head. Clear up a little space up there.

Around a clear light,
dreaming in deep indigo
there you will find me