more notes from the pier

someone reminded me recently—
"Be comfortable with who you are."
such simple words
quiet, direct
powerful words
that when I read them
it was like taking a very deep breath

...I hadn't realized I was holding it...
.......................................................

uncover
I will wear myself
as night is cloaked in stars
nothing there to hide

thursday night

daughter
I watched you go
little one, my heart is torn
a piece goes with you

slice
who have I become
that I should feel so deeply
cutting through layers

...............................
we add these layers
why do we look to others to remove them?

my god
colours can only be
held back for so long
before they fall in on themselves
imploding
dissolving
fading
we are not meant
to be so closed

look at me
see yourself
there in my eyes
your smile surrounds us
..............................

I just started typing...
IIWII

Tuesday night

"...But you might stumble upon yourself one day."

"I am more than the sum of my parts."

thick
my words are slowed
in still air on waves of heat
building and pressing

............................
it never does stop
I need to push it all back
fill my head with music
noise, static, wind
so I can get past
go forward
always
open

flow
I have not missed
what I have given away
pieces of myself
though sometimes at night
I find there is nothing left
and dream of deep springs

found words

I watched a sunset yesterday
that I am hard-pressed to put to words.
the horizon was large and deep
smoky blue clouds
from a rainstorm far out in the desert
a dark blue curtain of rain
and on one side
peering from behind
a radiant
burning
molten
hot piercing
orange red sun
the whole sky
above
behind
across the wide horizon in front of me
was saturated in shades of blues and greys
except for the disc of the sun
as if a door was opened
letting you catch a glimpse
a radiance almost too much to accept
I don't belong there
but I do remember...

evening storm

crest
I watched the storm rise
pouring over the mountains
a wave of deep sky

herald
out of the desert
like a forgotten prophet
green wakes from the rain

during a break...

ears
slow down, stop, listen
take the sounds where they lead you
worlds behind closed eyes

simmer

imagined
in the heat of the day
your words become cool breezes
caressing my skin

span
a white sun stretches
effervescent radiance
rising to meet it

.............................

more cooking, so to speak
words, thoughts
clamoring to get out
so I just keep adding....
.................................

caught
turning it slowly
I hold a thought in my hand
a prism of words

it's just late

restraint
they came close today
these thoughts of you, into words
beneath my fingers

saturday glimpse

visceral
I am sorry...but
I can see into your heart
within the deep walls

friday late afternoon

sitting outside in the shade when it's 103
words try to reach the surface
my thoughts thick as tar

rem
sleeping in the sun
the desert dreams of the stars
and cold deep places

friday afternoon

preserver
save me from myself
I am sinking fast to grey
throw me a colour

jot

flamenco
my eyes are dancing
to the happiness inside
no explanation

mid-day

reaction
like a skipping stone
my thoughts touch lightly on you
and my eyes smile

mixed bag

from Nantucket...
flash
fireflies wander
aimlessly from leaf to leaf
searching for summer

outside today (NOT Nantucket!)...
well-done
rocks baked by the sun
into white-hot bits of light
walking on the sky

just because...
shell
you have left me now
like a warm tide retreating
spirals on the beach

a return

I've been away. A needed recharge.
One for now. More to come.
Monsoons have started here in the desert.
Beautiful. Dramatic. Roiling.
blues greys yellows silvers greens...
so much depth to the sky
a crucible
the horizon
sharpened between sky and land


impending
I walk with the wind
swiftly to the storms black door
thundering answer

late/early

unfetter
why am I awake?
to see the stars crazy light
falling from above

saturday evening view

abandon
There, the small blue clouds?
They dance on the horizon,
twirling with the sun!

company
turning and diving
the bats join me on my walk
welcoming laughter

on the subject of need

puzzle
the purpose of need
what is not found in ourselves
filling the spaces

friday...indeed

verge
as I drift away
to leave the earth with the day
breaking barriers