seen

sun reef
clouds gather at dusk
like a school of fat pink fish
swimming through the sky

There is no reason you can't laugh with nature.
I saw those clouds, and felt the colors effervescent within me
and I swam with them

morning

Today
I am the sunrise
the sky filling with soft light
the horizon smiles

anticipation

I wrote these Dec. 22 '08, while waiting at the airport for family.
An airport around the holidays always has surprises.

waiting
coming back from war
the road that leads home is long
strangers make family

Gate A6
a soldier walks in
we are reminded of life
spontaneous joy

(there was also spontaneous applause, from every person in sight.)

sprouts

away
slowly and gently
the light leaves the dreaming sky
and my fears with it

see you in the next round

I just found out today that a friend died. We had shared many dreams, thoughts and hopes. We shared a love of nature, wild things and wild places. We questioned beliefs and ourselves. We had found each other at similar points in our lives, then drifted apart as so often happens. Always too busy. Why do we let that happen? We look back and always regret. She fought a hard battle, always looking ahead, making plans. Though I didn't often see her these past years, she was a part of my thoughts, my life. I will miss her. She was 45.

for Kris
walking in sunlight
the stones sang deep to her soul
while the mountains danced

opening

unfettered
the silence is deep
and I am free in the night
my thoughts travel long

how strange, even in the sunlit desert
winter brings out night in my thoughts
this is not unwanted
but rather necessary
a need for balance
to explore and find answers

as my thoughts search out and in
words form in twilight
suspended between night and day
like a silver thread of purpose
that is woven through my soul

(Maybe coherent only to myself, but that is what's floating around
up there. For reasons unknown, I am compelled to open this door.)

...and on

solo
deep dreams are sent, on
the back of a shooting star
I sail into night

on....

overflow
anxious and waiting
I watch the light leave the sky
fill my open heart

eyes met

in vain
I knock at closed doors
looking for pieces I've lost
silence greets my ears

reality has a hard gaze to meet,
the face familiar, the look hard and sweet
yet we choose to be blind
looking deep into dark eyes
we see our own reflections
and look no farther


(I am feeling fractured tonight
losing myself
the pieces will join together again
I am not meant to be so scattered about)

1am - adrift

why is it so easy to lose ourselves in the middle of the night?

...we are greater than the expectations
of who we are thought to be...

do we continue on our path, without explanations, without reasons
without apologies?

do we ever truly see the people around us?
or is our sight coloured with our
needs
wants
desires

eve

connection
I had lost myself
down roads of obligation
and found, in silence

I am one that needs quiet
a bit of silence
to hear the sky change colours
the light find the edge of a cloud
or to hear the song of my being
I need that stillness of soul
to feel the currents of my thoughts
and go where they lead
the people I feel most comfortable with
are the ones that can be there with me

silent night
starry night
in between
dark and light

[try and figure that one out...they come, as they come]

maelstrom

tide
the power inside
found buried beneath restraint
rises in my eyes

the wait
elusive and still
my words hide in quiet places
as I find my way

scattered impressions
a waiting time
while thoughts/words
mix and move
beneath the surface
I am not able to...
even now
so close, yet
out of reach
they dance
in and out of shadow
and brush against my face

and so I write....

Again
ignoring the signs
still I went down an old path
the end seen sooner

though not quite the same
the scenery has changed

and I have grown wings

laughing to myself (after the kicking)
Why do we choose to take the same, broken, path sometimes?
running in circles
each revolution
etching deeper
into our psyche
all for learning
ours
theirs
hopefully finding us in a slightly different
better
place than before
reaching, stretching, grasping
emotions as thin, curling wisps of pearly light
running through my fingers
others
absorbed

hope
a powerful reason

essentials

dreaming
As I push words back,
gently I keep them waiting
until I awake

cannot make the time I would like to right now
it's all there coalescing in the background
the necessary chaos that precedes and accompanies - change

found

These are two bits I wrote January or February of this year.
I remember the day when the Desert Haiku came to me very clearly.
I was standing at a point in my life with two paths before me.
Outside, feet on the path - head in the sky - clear view all around.
I knew which way to turn.
It is good to remember that....

Desert Haiku
dry stone in the sun
thoughts flying up with the wind
soaring like a hawk

(just impressions....)

I walk
sunlight as water
I run
flowing into the sky
I soar
released

to dark

my veneer is thin lately

gathering
pulled into pieces
like roots burrowed into rock
I am too many

life-line
slowly falling back
into the arms of darkness
face up to the sun

amalgam

something a little different tonight....
9 Lives
"half your life"
words whispered to me from the grey as I walk my path
"half your life"
carnival voice pulling laughter from the air
"half your life"
from the phone, dropped into my ear
Yes, maybe so,
but only until
now.
Not stopping, ever forward,
quick as the sun rising in the desert.
If I have had two halves of a life already-
which life am I on now?
Full and rising moon
over deep blue mountains.
I am above, and going higher
lives stretched out before me
glowing blue white
on a glittering dark road
through the horizon
to the other side
and back to me
Why should cats have all the fun?

tears
in the wake of change
foam flecked waves wash over me
salt dries on my skin

safety net
wherever I go
tendrils of warm light follow
from my heart, to yours

sometimes I have no choice but
to try and get the words out
whether they make sense
or not

all the above....

I hadn't gotten out (out=outside) really in a few days, for one reason or another. It was grey today, unusual really. I was doing something I'm sure I thought was extremely important,
when I glanced out the window...
I was out the door and gone in seconds flat.
The sun was flashing a deep gold from beneath the clouds.
gilding every edge with light
on the near mountains
the shadows, sharp as cobalt glass
the horizon, purple velvet
and below the glowing, twisting clouds
the sky - so clear,
the blue endless
and colourless
all at once
colours. light. shapes.
there is so much–
this is a sky of hope
contradictions
passion
wonder
this is life

words - so inadequate

the healing
walking in twilight
I glimpsed that land beyond
and let myself go

rest

slightly
again at midnight
fueled by red wine and sake
I walk to the moon

a half moon smiles
on its bed of opal silk
a black velvet tapestry
within a white gold ring

—I never know what I might see
walking at midnight

overflowing

flip
outside, in shadows
colours pool in dark valleys
inside, white starlight

bridge
walking in two worlds
we will fill the space with words
silence draws deeply

missing my twilight walks
they stir something in me
only accessible
at the edge
between day and night
the air feels lighter
the restraints loosened
the mind and heart soars
while the light withdraws

then, darkness
and there is nothing left
no body
just
thought
silence
self
filling the space
to the stars