and tonight, haiku
feels like way too many words
to capture this day

sacred datura
clear moons that glow in the night
souls of the desert

it flows through the pen
a letter to my brother
love embeds paper

...................................
if he can only hear
he is not alone

with clear glass breaking
lives pass by without a thought
to feel in a glance

.................................................
I will say again,
I am amazed and humbled
by the people in my life
they give so much,
without thought

always stilled
and captured
I try to be
worthy

scattered as my thoughts
stars across the velvet sky
burning as they fall

gather me closer
warm lips whispering on skin
we ride the night waves

.................................................
impressions and memories

creating our own reality

everything is now
to experience

stop, be still
and listen

through my open door
walls dissolving with the sound
rain meditation

I sat down to write
but could not keep myself still
vibrating with life

it is not for me,
life in an echo chamber
with only my voice

under a pine tree
the air sits warm and heavy
hiding from the sun

fall to sleep deeply
melt down through my warm layers
spread into the night

slowly close your eyes
rest inside this quiet place
white sun, blue shadows

how to put to words
all the lives I brush against
overwhelming need

in the deep hours
there is nowhere left to hide
hold me, keep me in

................................................

yes, truly, we think too much
rather than go with need

our wants are simple
answers, sublime
if only we listen
quiet the noise
end the doubt

we are not
meant to 
be alone 

be still
open
your
eyes

curling twisting vines
hearts green reaches towards the sky
people in my life


this one from a couple of years ago came to mind today...

hits like a hammer
memories riding on air
the scent of a thought

...................................................

as I live more in the moment
words turn into the air I breathe
becoming harder to separate 
from thoughts or feelings
left without boundaries
filling, dissipating
I am endless
limitless
found

stop, close your eyes, and
step off the edge of the day
to be unfettered

softly breathing blues
quietly the day's music
builds deep around me

awake between dreams
night streches long before me
the doors open wide

close your eyes and see
one by one the stars blink out
a bright clear darkness

with branches dancing
it smiles with bright green flashes
and laughs with the sky

stretched out in the heat
my body is liquid thought
time flows thick and slow

the day falls burning
deep into purple twilight
whispers on my skin

simmering clearly
there, just beneath the surface
words wait patiently

near the horizon
falling deep into the sky
yes, here be dragons

my body tests me
so very tired tonight
disappear within

a deep quiet calm
clear water bright as sunlight
settles in my heart

I hold my breath, the
moment stretched, a golden light
illuminated

sun kiss on my cheek
and those crazy places fill
a rising stillness

a brown smell, wet leaves
the dark scent of expanding
possibilities

eyes closed and drifting
sunlight falling through water
silence suspended

beauty...I want to
breathe this moment forever
the sky in my hands

blue sky meets the earth
follow that long endless edge
wide as my smile

dancing over me
sunlight plays with grey shadows
filled with a white light

to hold myself back
or be completely open
truth in compassion


cold edge of the night
purple falling into black
words cut out of me



as I closed the door
I left you out in the night
listen to the stars

I will not fight it
my heart will love where wanted
and sometimes where not

and rising above
I leave my body behind
no ties left to bind

the sky is falling
stars are sliding off my skin
puddles on the ground


as I learn to stay
quiet with a hopeful heart
embracing silence

cold, rainy, sharp, grey
remembering my deep roots
and power returns

all I can hope for
is for someone to see truth
stripped...silent...open

.....................................................................

sometimes events are out of our control
they move forward with a life of their own
while we are the unaware participants, catalysts

breath
learn
love
live

heal me with your skin
warm smooth life under my tongue
pain leaves with a breath

tired past all words
I surrender to the sound
deep in indigo

with eyes wide open
hush the words, stop the chatter
listen inside-out

with eyes clear as glass
you held your doors wide open
I found myself home

words rise with our breath
warm thought swirls, trails through the night
constellations form

looking up at you
I fall through the open doors
so easily lost

...................................................................

there is no telling when this will happen
without warning and no place to hide
sliced open...exposed...released
finally to become weightless
climbing the velvet night
a clear searing flame
soars deeply over
endless waves
vulnerable
powerful
crashing
falling
rising
you
.................................................................

I explore through words. Who I am, what I am learning..experiencing.
This is only my view, and all it ever can be. A small slice at best.
It is not easy to be so exposed, but...necessary.

no words for the joy
no place I would rather be
right here...right now...breathe

taking  a deep breath
I feel life against my skin
just stop and live it

we are connected
I am there in your deep pain
my friend, my brother
.
.
.
I love you

lost in the moment
sinuous exploration
boundaries vanish
.
.
.
between desires
one ends the other begins
seamless perfection

stretching my limits
words are out of reach tonight
hold me, keep me in

shining from dark eyes
above that gentle smile
clear light of your soul

unnerving to see
so much, so clearly, so fast
standing on the edge

galaxies spin, as
night unravels around me
eyes wide, doors open

this twilight tonight
drawn out scream of light leaving
painful in beauty

.....................................................
tried again
hard feeling to put in words
so large

yes, it's time to go
just before the tidal wave
voices find their edge
:
:
:
with a slow smile
I leave the words where they fall
...

with soft whispered words
brush the night over my eyes
deep indigo dreams

wrap around me now
feel the moon fill deep the night
straight into morning

we are always here
right now, the moment stretches
to make a lifetime
.
.
.
beauty in a glance
of light reflected on skin
a slow perfection

...............................................
the words are always
there even if I don't see them
even if I don't hear them

I can't help but feel them

run run run with me
off the map and don't look back
miles above the ground

..................................................
for no reason other than
wanting to escape
into this long
twilight

that twilight colour
my feet need to leave the ground
horizon in flames

alright,
the wind has changed
the light grows long
I cannot stop what it does to me...
Love it/crave it/dread it
.....................................................
standing in one place
years in front and behind me
running standing still


stop, listen, and tell
me...do the years define you?
no, I am here now


can you feel that wind?
from the day leaving the sky
minutes pass to years


I will not stand still
don't look for me behind you
stretching into space



slide across my skin
slow trails of heat to follow
deep hot explosions

............................................
lots of reflection tonight
unexpected open doors
that I glance into as I go by
and I won't even talk about that last one
except to say, it could be
a whole separate blog
so much more there...

trying and trying
to understand where I am
why do I know you?
.
.
.
5:30 am
yes, it has been a long night
lives left uncovered
.
.
.
the night is quiet
beyond the expectations
dreams mix with the stars
.
.
.......................................

so much more to say

but so very tired
and does it really matter?
I will listen and wonder

and only answer 

my own questions

breathing the mountains
I am calmed to a simmer
cool wash of silence

with dark energy
I am vibrating tonight
the night waters deep
*
*
*

I cannot sleep when
so many doors are open
going through them all

trying to gather
images of skin and heat
pieces of myself

damn...awake again
with expectations and hope
blue ink on my hand

not mine, but others
fitting me into their plans
expand to silence

I remain my own
see me and I will see you
stripped free, and waiting

.............................................

maybe better as conversation
but an interesting challenge in haiku

and life goes on...

I sat down to write
the words refused to be still
wandering about

lightly I touch you
drifting along your smile
lost in the unsaid

clear and full, they flash
in and out...shooting stars
people in my life

holding on gently
eyes open, blind with effort
my heart flies open



scrambling, laughing
sand and cold rain on our skin
we race the storms edge

no words
just life
shine

stop and watch these words
glowing...fading...expanding
they can pass through walls

like breathing, a touch
so needed, trails along skin
slow discovery

on air thick with the
smell of pine and creosote
the river races

the net has been cast
pulling deep beneath green waves
eyes locked on the stars



water surrounds me
even here in the desert
heart beats and waves crash

gathering myself
small pieces thought lost, found in
unlikely places

sifting through the night
sparks of thought through my fingers
whispers on the floor

knowing no other
I can only return here
lost inside myself

..........................................................
but I choose to be lost sometimes

whether it's in myself, out past the horizon,  or deep in dark eyes

I find so much when I'm lost, and then...see the world differently

there is a beauty in the unknown

loosen with the heat
now melt into me slowly
the taste of salt warm

okay, here we go...

caution, I am wordy tonight

I have no desire to hide the years I've lived
if it puts me in a different place 

than the people around me
(not a better place, 

or a clearer place,
just different)

so be it
I will ask questions

I will wonder and explore
I am looking for honest answers
they will not hurt or stop me
but might change me
and make me better

in different phases of life,
we ask different questions

I cannot ignore mine
but maybe I need to
temper my search
take a breath

be still

..................................................................
I wrote tonight
built-up impressions
and experiences

from recent days

(what are Sunday nights for?)
each happened
and was felt

do not think

you know me
unless you ask
...............................................................

trapped by the music
it held me without remorse
stripped me to my bones

holding back the miles
words of love become bridges
eyes close, you are there

trying not to look
too much hope in those dark eyes
I am not the one

there is even more
go to the edge of the sky
stop there and listen

beauty in a glance
chance a look or slow smile
the earth shattering

why is it so hard
to speak with an open mind?
we assume too much

the people I know
twisting tendrils of clear light
circling the globe

hush now, be quiet
stop the chatter with a thought
softly to the floor

I am not enough
there is too much need out there
stretched transparent





now still your mind, and
stop...hold me...gather me up
pieces make the whole

a wonderful thing
water flows in the desert
dreams in a mirage

left without fear, and
stripped of all expectations
we vibrate through air

I am but pale foam
reflecting on the surface
dark ocean of night
.
.
.
looking up to see
life's slow celestial dance
constellations form
.
.
.
and I fall deeper
cool water slides over warm skin
stars rise from my wake

I cannot hold back
sparks dance up and down my spine
words evaporate

behind my eyelids
night settles in cool dark waves
stars shine in the depths

slide over my tongue
a gaze that tastes like honey
spilling on my skin

on being myself...
I am not responsible
for your point of view

....................................................................................
there is much thought and searching behind this one
an ongoing realization...an ongoing acceptance
hard to write for the very reason it was written

a definite 'word' theme lately it seems
what is said and what is left unsaid
when they seem so unnecessary
which is more often than not
...how they look even
I am fascinated
by all of this
question

observe
explore
search
listen
share
trust

fumbling for words
my mind as clear as water!
I wait for the waves

settling slowly
the air thick with muffled heat
life in slow motion

I fell in your eyes
as I was looking for words
you softly smiled

oh, what it could be
I slowly burn with restraint
and the moments pass


filling still places
twilight settles between us
words follow the sun

.............................................
there is a beauty in stillness
and in the unattainable
to recognize life
while sharing
your soul
without
words

quiet, so quiet
the sound of life expanding
clarity in pain
............................................
just growing pains
and I welcome it, for
there is no passion without pain
passion for life, people, music, art
seeing, accepting, learning
this makes me
who I am

I am

I am

walking in the night
all boundaries disappear
thoughts are limitless




stretching and reaching
so small, yet so infinite!
my feet leave the groud

whispering softly
dreams melt into cool shadows
the sun on my tongue

only air between
just enough for the silence
voices and my skin

I wait for release
to find rest in cool shadows
sifting through sunlight
............................................
the sun and blue sky
there is no escape from it
not surprising here in the desert
though lately, it seems, I have been
frozen by sunlight

a sharp blue sky and
red sunlight through my eyelids
quiet afternoon

on tips of branches
the last minutes of the day
caught in gold sunlight

the world gets smaller
our lives woven together
with each written word
.......................................................................

Not ready to stop writing here yet obviously.
And I am tempted to explain a little the last post...
but I will not try, except to say
the blog is cumulative.
Exploration.

to be so quiet

the sound of light dissolving
echos into night

.............................................
I am contemplating stopping this blog
I would continue to write...just not here
I would miss coming to this place
but look...see?...right there...
at the very beginning
of those first lines
that I just typed,
a closing door
to one room
it echos
empty
"I"

that door is not meant to be closed
so maybe it's time to step back
and slowly close my eyes
and let that crazy light
spin madly off
the walls

thought to words...my bones
so they will not be found here
swallowed by the void