and I've...

reached
I breathe deep the stars
to expand and fill the sky
a slow spreading smile

(whispered word..."enough")

addition...

to hurt
I will not regret
any moment, it becomes
part of who I am

.............................

as it should be,
life's too short for regret
but long enough to learn

not wanted...

just needed
sharp deep growing pains
layers of my skin removed
softly risen sun

and now...

true
the pain of knowing
is honest, sharp and real
yet the love remains

puzzle pieces...

worn path
quietly I fall
deep beneath my blue waves
words evaporate

and there, always there
stars and silver threads entwine
keep me to this earth


space
opening my eyes
I release you from my shell
not to be contained


notes
dancing to my ears
water over desert stones
quietly laughing

through the twilight...

encounter
over the mountains
a full moon swollen with light
rises to meet me

finally, some words...

there
close your eyes, listen
the air is alive with words
endless and silent

linger
I take a deep breath
the air sparkles in my mouth
tasting your smile

out of the abyss...

a piece
the blue, cold, large, clear
swallowing sadness and fear
my indigo soul

joy
like the moon rising
certain, but wondrous still
my eyes unveiled

on meteors and souls...

dark matter
expanding to fill
every moment before me
I become endless

vivid...

season
the sunlight is sharp
its clear gold edge cuts through me
scattered burning stars

landing
the air is strange
on this new alien world
cold, full, and empty

weave...

inhale
air thick with felt words
the space between us simmers
a world of its own

desert
the quiet enters
slowly sliding up my skin
to fill lost places

news
stopped by a word
when a child faces life
the burden is ours

......................................................
How much can we take?
More than I thought it seems.
It rolls over us in unseen waves.
And we wonder why we can't catch our breath?
Blindly smiling into the deep green water.
We stretch to catch the sun in our teeth.
to slide like honey over our tongues.
Sweet, burning, full of life
the other side of pain

also...

changed
quietly scheming
sunlight enters my grey room
and I remember...

to be...

complete
turn and come to me
walk together down this path
leaving fear to want

too...

spill
a slow spreading pool
see my blood, my words, released
to be transparent

please stand by...

patience
entering the void
I come out the other side
and you are with me

sorting it out...

My Mom passed away on October 25th. I wrote this in Connecticut the first time I was alone in the house with so much of her around me.

embrace
memories surround
they clamor for attention
I touch each gently

................................

It comes in waves, there is no stopping them. I just hold on.

misplaced...

align
found in the desert
flowing down from the mountains
the calm I had lost

almost...

contained
images explode
to wrap around my body
barely held in place

tenuous...

hush
trying to focus
I fall deep into myself
and fade with the light

loudly silent...

quiet
words I want to say
still my throat and fill my mouth
burning through my lips

wire
I walk the tightrope
half-way between you and I
holding out my hand

nautilus
echoing softly
it spirals through my chambers
deep inside my shell
...........................................
Many haiku on my inner wanderings. Soon they will be more evenly mixed with words from my physical wanderings.

now...

elements
refusing to close
my eyes, wide open windows
I fill up with life

filling the spaces...

These are from various times and places. All tapped into my phone from parking lots, bars, lobbies...whenever/wherever I had a few minutes and was inspired.
(Thanks Paula and Daniel for giving me the place to finish them.)

notes
quiet energy
the air vibrates with colour
sound frays the darkness

submerged
they swirl around me
voices like water, I drown
slowly drifting light

wall
nothing left but I
fixed in a wall of sound
removed from the world

vital
so easy the known
so hard to look beyond it
my sky reflected

crowd
faces on all sides
their lives forming waves of words
crashing over me
.................................
An exercise in concentration while waiting for my car...

creation
words flow like water
filling the space between us
filtered blue sunlight

unseen
I sit motionless
invisibly vibrating
I slip through the air

drift
gently the day flows
I skim the surface like foam
to go where it leads

on-going...

filled
silent words spoken
pulled slowly from deep places
they come in soft waves

rolling and building
I swell to the horizon
to burn with the sun

still here...

merge
I let go and fall
slowly melting into you
the world fades away

afternoon walk...

aware
the air thick with heat
I walk to the sun's white heart
warm blood on my skin

to go...

softly
walking between words
to feel the quiet of truth
I hear your heart sing

train of thought...

all
how many am I?
refusing to become less
glimpses and facets

parts of a...

whole
eyes open slowly
I emerge from dark places
light pours from my skin

.....................................

overwhelmed sometimes lately
it comes in cold towering waves
though I know myself too well
to sink beneath them

I feel fiercely

touch...

why?
awoke, with worry
heart pounding, wide eyes staring
your name on my lips
...........................................
from a dead sleep, now wide awake
anxious, and...here
writing at 2 am
trying to send
my thoughts
to you

soft...

break
I can't explain it
the chains feel tight today
I can barely breathe
.............................

there isn't enough of me

nothing more...

I wrote this a couple of years ago for a friend
it is relevant again tonight

all I can do
raw pain of a friend
asking why with open eyes
helpless...I listen

no choice...

snapshot
tonight, words like stars
spread across my dark velvet
read between the shine
......................................
it is what is
sometimes the words
fall into softly into place
whether they work or not
but they all say something
parts of myself laid out
I'm still not really sure
why I put them here

this too, always

intrinsic
Trust. What can I say?
as natural as breathing
it is who I am

always...

after
the words then find me
through the black lens of the night
all I want to say

today...

safety
feeling cut adrift
I crash over deep green waves
your voice an anchor

always there...

connections
golden threads reaching
I touch souls clear in my eyes
with skin clear as glass

............................................

a huge concept to try and put into words
I will keep trying
until the words
fall together
seamless
endless
one

Something different...

These are from various times at the beginning of this journey.
Interesting to revisit them.

Time to start (Oct. 11 2008)

I am starting this blog to get some of my haiku written down, and out of my head. Clear up a little space up there.

Around a clear light,
dreaming in deep indigo
there you will find me
......................................
the wait
elusive and still
my words hide in quiet places
as I find my way

scattered impressions
a waiting time
while thoughts/words
mix and move
beneath the surface
I am not able to...
even now
so close, yet
out of reach
they dance
in and out of shadow
and brush against my face
......................................
edge
quietly I look
there, at the edge of myself
a universe waits
....................................
this is one of my favorites...

Rising
Trying to see,
I am still
yet
effervescent
Rising
to meet
you.
...............................
this one too...

skin
stepping into night
air like water on my skin
i talk to the stars

(and they answer)

as breathing...

natural
wherever I go
thoughts of you swirl around me
air against my skin

a past glimpse...

running late
rushing up to me
the sunlight clings to your eyes
I breathe in your smile

glimpse...

holding
I leave my body
waiting deeply in darkness
while we slowly spin

.................

now
over my shoulder
days pass from light to shadow
I am letting go

fused...

torn
to feel such extremes
deep love and imminent death
I am pulled apart

weld
pieces gathered
you simmer against my lips
opened like the sky

stills...

reason
vibrating with life
images leap from your eyes
barely contained chaos

enfold
with warm lips closed
your words slide over my skin
a voice like water

reaching a balance...

impending
the sky lies heavy
clouds resting in my skull
darkness in my heart

yet...
yes, let yourself fall
hold me close and lift the sky
your presence grounds me

needed...

music
removed from the world
fixed in a wall of sound
nothing left but me

contained...

answered
fused to the ground
I feel the earths core burn through
my eyes closed

just a part...

gently destroy me
with a touch I am undone

..........................................

I started this as a haiku, but haven't found the right words to finish it.
I might just leave it as is.

today...

burn
sink into my bones
enter and purify me
laser white sunlight

hollow
slowly the day leaves
purple bruises in the sky
a deep ache inside

found...

singular
one out of thousands
I picked up this dark stone
and it spoke your name

too bright...

holding
some days will find me
asleep on the horizon
waiting for the night

my Mom

carry
your voice a mirror
if I could bear it for you...
I listen, helpless
............................
I try to share
what strength I have
it doesn't seem
enough

so hard to think
when your mind
is 2000 miles away

and then...

slowly
frozen dreams I found
from the night behind the sun
melting on my tongue

just look...

premonition
eyes slowly open
to what was there all along
worlds inside revealed

discover
with each step, forward
to face yourself without fear
come, walk beside me

this or that...

bobcat
we met eye to eye
our worlds touch for a moment
tail twitch and he's gone

.......................................
was absolutely beautiful
.......................................

not a bobcat
we met eye to eye
our worlds touch for a moment
the moment endures

stirred up...

blur
I feel like flying
my feet miles from the ground
a crease in the sky

as I...

dissolve
walking in twilight
my body fades with the light
and I fill the sky

stirring about...

limitless
endless silver blue
the sky stretches before me
boundaries dissolve
................................

Finally, I wake.

face...

now
step into today
the air clear and eyes open
greet reality

a start...

visitor
on soft quiet feet
the day enters my window
and joins me in bed
as I hold my breath
released into the morning
whispered words waiting

...

release
I opened my hand
as you slid through my fingers
and I let you go

holding on...

thread
as I run ahead
you follow like a promise
twisting in the wind

slowly...

easy
soft pale blue breezes
wash across the opal sky
my eyes are endless

hello
now I meet the sun
with long steps across the sky
my skin in cold flames

still here...

race
eyes set past the pale
I held the sky in my hands
and ran past myself

a return...

found again
it was always there
my wide endless horizon
eyes following heart

trying to surface...

haze
eyes turned inward
I have lost the horizon
my body betrays

tonight...

drained
pouring into night
the colour bled from the sky
too tired for words

clearly...

head-on
rain falls on my hair
cold drops of reality
running down my face

...or fingers

honey
slipping from my heart
thoughts into words on my tongue
no taste of regret

...

mutual
what you draw from me
with your eyes, return to me
water from the well

clearly
the earth spoke to me
a stone picked up in passing
words felt through my hand

a balance?

light-speed
my thoughts are spinning
a kaleidoscope of words
trying to focus

just look...

inside
I have found my strength
in the people around me
and ground beneath me

today...

pause
the colour of tea
cold water through desert grasses
my heart takes a breath

no more...

laser
refusing to hide
I throw myself to the sky
and burn like the sun

view...

a look
over my shoulder
as the words met between us
the sun left the sky

...you get what you need...

as is
yesterday I learned
comfort comes in many forms
accepting the gift

through the keyhole...

yield
I stand in the dark
vibrating from head to toe
fear abides passion

passing by...

ice
so much time wasted
frozen in our fear of life
melt with me, slowly

from behind the door...

filled
suspended in need
night wings brush against warm skin
silence enters me
...........................

tonight I found myself
so close to the words
that I stopped
paralyzed by their truth

talking to the moon...

ebb
waves break on a beach
a rolling tumble of words
rising with the tide

eyes open

fog
lost in our own worlds
we fail to see each other
grey trees before dawn

tonight

news
I answered the phone
and my world quickly changed
I am left adrift

I take it with me...

landscape
within these thin walls
I feel the sky in my eyes
where mountains reside

stones

found
something forgotten
in my rush to move forward
strength from the silence

starting—out

mine
taller than a dream
shadow on a canyon wall
dancing with grey stones

2010

no haiku
fireworks
the phone rings
my daughters voice
a full moon watches
cold champagne shimmers
a coyote, frightened by the noise
runs past me so close I could touch it
and I hear its sharp breath

.............................................

catch
"Where are you going?"
words thrown at me from a song
and I threw them back

.............................................

heard
from out of the dark
his voice tore the night in two
ragged hole of fear

(I never saw him
I have no idea who he was
why he was yelling
why he was running
it ended with a sound
like a shot)
....................................

was nothing...

reaction
sound, where none should be
slices its way up my spine
turning me to ice

shades in the shadows...

siren
inside these four walls
I still feel the deep twilight
ceaselessly calling

angel
sitting by my bed
with a voice of endless night
dreams woven with stars

eyes open...

wake
walking in my sleep
from day to dream, dream through day
then to vibrate life

out of range...

tonight
I am stretched thin
worn-out with expectations
pieces scattered, lost

...........................
others expectations
not mine

...

suspended
with a bright silence
in a room frozen in time
slowly, walls crumble

serenade
light sweet notes dancing
like sunlight put to music
crimson feathers flash

random...

solid
be silent and still
let voices wash over you
to leave you untouched

no more
always in waiting
but life doesn't stop to chat
running to catch up

box
so easy, the known
and so hard to look beyond
to find ourselves

thoughts outloud...

wall
under a grey sky
silence rolls off the mountains
crashing over me

spread
voices like ripples
on the surface of twilight
clear fathomless depths

voices
sun and blue shadows
give the mountains their voice
hush, be still...listen
....................................
outside 2 days in a row, same place
with different people
and was myself...a different person each time
they all fill a need, some part of us
not complete without it
it is not always clear
the why, behind the need
but it doesn't make it less real
less necessary
less wanted

...

listen
why am I awake?
the night promises answers
then Orion speaks

history

direct hit
tossed gently to me
I caught your slip of a smile
from across the room
to land in my heart
one step ahead
of your eyes

and it filled me...

valley
holding the silence
in a bowl of stone and sky
indigo shadows

sunday evening...

solitude
walking through dark trees
I hear twilight softly sing
while clouds burn above

caught words...

peek
there is no hiding
in a room full of shadows
from the moons full gaze

over 3 days...

Fred
dancing with the sun
crimson flash in the water
his world in a bowl

barely
air clear as water
walking light on the surface
I skim through the day

expand
on a hike today
the stillness entered my soul
and I filled the sky

wondering...

seen
keeping love hidden
why are we all so afraid
to let our guard down?
........................................

if you don't allow yourself to feel
you stop yourself from living

briefly...

in sync
black lace fluttering
over my head in twilight
a flock of birds dance