...

not lonely
holding up a wall
I stand quiet in the dark
a visit with friends

steady breath...

trap
I found you waiting
beneath the layers of night
quicksand under me

..................................

brush
the air is gentle
softly dancing on my skin
to a low sweet song

................................
the world around me
slowly coming into focus
as my eyes open wider
my mind spinning
with feet planted
firmly in
now

slow breath...

orbit
hush now and be still
breathe your fear into the night
to rise with the moon

...breath let out

teeth
grinning in the night
orange smile of a moon
a secret shared

my view...

shine
with a comets tail
you race a wild orbit
far-away from me
through tomorrow
and into a memory
layers of smiles

the quiet breath...

celebration
on the horizon
the colour of dry champagne
day spills into night

night swim...

rest
dark ocean of night
the stars ride your silent waves
I slip beneath them

...deep breath...

surround
the sky is endless
I swim in it as water
without thought, weightless

...still breathing...

...plus one

solved
regarding my name,
I have decided neither
I know who I am

one

identity crisis
up 3 in the morning
asking myself...who am I?
Kathy or Kathleen?

...processed...

washed
the sharp sound of rain
clears my head, and heart
calm reality
.............................................................
I am done with words for a little while
I need to keep them to me
let them simmer
hold them close

they became too loud
closing my ears
too dark
closing my eyes
too many
closing my throat

I need to breathe
...........................

listening to...'An Ending (ascent)' by Brian Eno

..and...

how is it that,
that which helps the most
is the hardest to do

..............................

look back
walking side by side
we braved quick sidelong glances
and opened the doors

the process continues...

[bear with me, as I need to work this out...with words]

shell
I am paralyzed
with a crushing emptiness
yet I walk and talk

.................................
life has it's own agenda sometimes
you think you are taking the right steps
going in the right direction
and the road suddenly changes
your landmarks are gone
your legs, unsteady
even the air you breathe seems unfamiliar
leaving a dull taste in your mouth

somewhere along the way
you have lost yourself
...................................
maybe this new road will take me farther
and I will go to edge of the road
look back at where I have been
the air clear, colours sharp
then I will clearly see
that all roads lead
to where I am

right now

a process...

subtraction
is it possible
to feel that someone has died
alive, but not near?

changed...

talk
at a loss for words
and what comes out is all wrong
my heart in my throat

something different...

I have had so much running through my head
a constant stream of images through my eyes
a surge of thoughts, a sense of place
welling up from the depths
I have not been able
to find the words

the sky yesterday evening
so deep and rich
busy with colour, movement
I did not know where to look
...a deep blue cloud shadow
shoots up from the horizon...
...a solitary dark cloud
grumbles with rain...
...red-orange sun
rolls into tomorrow...
..with each step I leave the earth
leaving footprints on the sky...

am I making any sense?
does it matter?

today...
the wider I open my door
the more people step through
smiling, hesitant, questioning, wondering
who do they see? what do they hear?
what do they want?

my friend, maybe the answer
is to take that long walk
...off my own pier
my god what a glorious splash!

...with each word spoken, I am lighter—
than my smile when I think of...

the possibilities

gathered...

one from Sunday...

surface
sunday afternoon
quiet light, sound of water
no deep thoughts at all

today...

afternoon
green dappled sunlight
fills the breadth of your smile
woven with a laugh

always there...

brim
I fill the deep night
and it pours into my heart
the stars dance for me

welcome
I smile to the stars
the night like arms around me
warm breath on my skin

..........................................

I can never stay lost for long
my compass always leads me
over the mountain
around the bend
down that path...
to my horizon
because we each
have our own

I knew that...

useless
today, knowingly
I held regret in my hand
and see?...life goes on

....................................

yes, it is time to move
and change with the light
too much energy was used
to find that I was only
standing still